For as long as I can remember I have always wanted a whole house full of kids . Growing up it was just me and one brother, all of my cousins were much older than me and none of them were very close by . I always wanted a whole house full of friends, but it never happened to me as a child. I always said when I was married I would have many children, that we would live a simple life, and we would be happy . At 25 now I've been married for almost 6 years to my very best friend, and we have 3 wonderful children so I would say I'm well on my way to having a larger than the average family. Somedays those children drive me crazy, but I'm convinced after many stories from my mother this is the way it's suppose to be.. They are my life's greatest blessing, and I would gladly accept many more if God saw fit to give them to me . This is a story about how I got to this point in my life, and the joys and heartaches that came along the way .
When my Mom was expecting my brother I was almost 4 . The whole pregnancy I prayed and prayed for a baby sister . When September 15th 1990 came around, and I recieved a baby brother instead of a baby sister I was not pleased . I told Ryan to go back where he came from and I didn't speak to my Mom for a week . A week in the life of a four year old is like a month. I had put my order in for a sweet little sister, instead I got a brother. I was very upset. As time went on though I began to accept him, and I tried my best to turn him into a sister to no avail. My Mom has several pictures of Ryan dressed up in dresses and makeup on. He was like a live baby doll that I took advantage of for as long as I could, which was somewhere around 5 when he started to fight back . I prayed for along time that God would give me a sister, but I guess it wasn't meant to be . We were poor by most peoples standards, or at least that's what I was told, I don't remember once feeling poor . My Mom worked sometimes as many as 3 jobs at one time just to make ends meet. So it was probably a good thing that it was just myself and Ryan although I will always wish there were a few more of us Haney's running around .
We grew up in a small Iowa town called Churdan, and by small I mean small. Everyone knew what everyone was doing 5 seconds after it was done . There wasn't much there, the whole town consisted of a school, gas station, a couple of hair salons, a bank, a post office, a general store, a bar, a library, fire department, at one point an arcade and a clothing shop, 3 churches, a methodist,baptist and catholic along with about 100-150 people . The town was so small that we had one police officer, and he never patrolled because there was really nothing to patrol . If there was ever an issue people knew where he lived and his name and number were in the phone book . The school was small, so much so that two towns of kids went to the same school to have enough kids to bother teaching. Kindergarten through 12th grade there couldn't have been more than 120 kids. I remember my kindergarten class was one of the largest on record at 20 children. When my parents divorced when I was in 6th grade I was the only child in the whole school who's parents were divorced. That's saying alot considering that just about everyone now comes from a divorced home .
All the neighborhood kids played together at the city park . There was about 10 of us, and we had alot of fun playing hide a go seek, tag and baseball, volleyball, riding bikes, we ran around barefoot especially in the summertime and we drank out of many garden hoses. There wasn't much to do in the small town of Churdan but we made our own fun . Our house was right in front of the schools baseball diamond. I remember many nights of Mom working in the garden, and us kids in the backyard watching the baseball game and catching fireflies. Like all kids we would put them in mason jars to keep them alive, and it never failed they always died. On hot summer days there were many lemonade sales to try to earn money for the county fair, bell tower days, or possibly a Friday or Saturday night at the skating rink . I know on more than one occasion we fried eggs on those hot tar roads . There were many trips to the Jefferson swimming pool. We weren't allowed to sit around watching tv, and playing video games. After chores were done we were to be outside. We didn't even own a video game, and with only 4 channels there wasn't much to watch . And with no air conditioning who wants to sit in a hot house .
Growing up we always had chores. Mine were dishes, I had to help with the laundry as well as clean my room,the dinner table and in the summer mow the yard . Like all kids I tried to shove everything in the closet and under the bed, that almost never worked and I learned quick. When washing dishes, they were washed and dried by hand and inspected afterwards, if one was dirty all were washed again . Mom hung clothes outside if the weather permitted, our job was to help fold and put away our clothes . We didn't get to do anything on the weekends unless our chores were done through the week and they had to be done right . At the time I'm pretty sure I hated it, most of my friends didn't have chores and if they did it was only keeping there room clean . Now I realize that it was good thing, that it built character and responsibility. I learned to do it right the first time or I would end up doing it twice . Now that I have three children, I have learned to start them young, as soon as they can walk they have a job, even if it is just helping pick up toys or putting something in the trash .
Even though money was tight, we always had a home cooked meal and the majority of the time it was good eating around our dining room table. There is nothing better than Iowa sweet corn in the summer, pork tenderloins, homemade chili, meatloaf, and fried chicken on occasion. Everything just about was made from scratch. There were on occasion though things that we didn't care for . I remember fighting not wanting to eat ham and bean soup. It took a few times of it being warmed up again and again for breakfast, lunch and dinner before I realized that it was just best to eat it the first time . Ryan went through the same thing with biscuits and gravy . My Mom use to say that this isn't a restaurant, you either eat it now or you eat it later. There simply wasn't the money to cook something different for each person, you ate what was put in front of you at that meal or you would eat it for another meal . We ate lots of leftovers, and at least one night a week was left over night. There was little to no waste in our house, you couldn't afford to waste . I remember thinking that my Mom must of had eyes in the back of head. She would hear the refrigerator door open, no matter how quietly you tried to open it. she say "what are you doing in there?" to which we would say getting a drink, to which we'd get there's glasses in the cabinet and water in the faucet .
We always had everything we needed as children . There was always food to eat, clothes to wear, a roof over our head . We always had presents and a homemade cake at our birthday and Christmas and we did fun things but we weren't showered with new toys often . At some point, I'm not really sure what age we started working for things we want . We were paid a small amount for each chore we did, I don't remember how much it was. For me it started about the time roller blades first became popular . All of my friends had a pair, I wanted them so bad . Mom told me I would have to work for them, that I would appreciate them more if i worked for them . I did chores for what seemed like months, I believe I even asked for extra chores to make the money faster . I saved and saved until finally I had enough money. One day we took the 45 minute drive to Fort Dodge, that was where the nearest walmart and kmart was . I picked out my first roller blades, they were white and pink. I loved those things, took good care of them and used them until they just couldn't go anymore . I did appreciate them more because I bought them, I worked for them .
Compared to most places especially nowadays it was a simple old fashioned life , and the perfect place to raise children . As a child I remember being bored stiff , but now I realize it was good for my imagination we made fun rather than having to be entertained . I've discovered now from talking to friends , I was raised alot different than most but I wouldn't have it any other way . It's made me who I am today . It's the only place that I know of anymore where everything still closes on Sundays and church bells are heard all through town and you know your neighbors and they actually care about you . We had a great childhood, or at least that's the way I remember it. If it weren't almost 18 hours away , i would love to raise my children there . Oh how I miss home, I hope to visit soon .
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